Category: Dating and Relationships
Hello all. Have any of you ever really wanted someone and you seen yourself being with that person but absolutely couldn't have them?
Oh ya I sure have. ANd tha'ts so tough.
yeah i have numbers of times!
like this chick i see a lot! on tuesday nights i go and hang out at this one place and i see a chick that's so hot but she's married! damn marages!
Don't we all? And yeah lol, it's tough alright.
Sure have, and more than once. I just can't seem to learn. LOL
the other day I was in a store and asked someone to help me get some groceries. she was absolutely fucking hot! About 5 feet tall, about 120 pounds I'd say. I know on line I can be really cocky and speak my mind when it comes to women, but the truth is, offline I'm incredibly shy. So there's no way I could really chat her up, just because I have foot in mouth disease. i do that often enough that I didn't want to embarras myself this time. Oh well, guess it doesn't hurt to dream.
Cam
Yes I have and it nearly destroyed our friendship and trust, in the end I had to get a grip and move on. Christ! it wasn't easy.
I've been there too. I usually let the person know about it to.
Troy
She was the most evil creature I've encountered in this life; she just kept leading me on and all I ever got from her was flirtation. I did get to massage her soft hands though. She wasn't all that bright anyway...
Yeah, I've been there as well. It's hard.
yep think we've all been there some time or another. it is extremely difficult.
Does it count that I have her but she's in another country?
I've never had this problem, if you dig long enough and use a big enough hammar to break open the vault and coffin you always get them.
Arg Jared that was sick! and as to the question: sure I have, and it sucks, to put it planely.
been there done that, and it's definitely difficult.
Raskolnikov, I love your posts. They're great.
Jared, you're just...I don't know...that word I haven't come up with yet.
The only person I can honestly say I've ever really loved was one such person. There was never the slightest chance of anything happening between us, although he delighted in leading me to think otherwise, and I thank some divine force or another for that. He's nothing I need. And now there's another such person, and I think things will just repeat themselves. I, like Becky, never learn. Yes, it's frustrating, annoying, painful, difficult, etc.
Yes, I to, have been in a similar situation, and it's tough as hell, but in the end if it's meant to be, it'll happen.
There was someone I came to find I wanted, quite badly, but couldn't have, and.........
I think we've all experienced situations like this. but I also think there are at least 2 distinctive ways of acknowledging this. There are those we feel strong atraction to for whatever reason who maybe taken, married, or gay. Then there are those that no matter what we do, never ever reciprocate thoe very special feelings. I'm not sure there are easy ways to cope with it.
I'm not sure it's down to learning either, we find a particular type of person atractive, and no matter how bad that s for us, we can't help but fall into that same situation time after time. That's why abused people often end up in other abusive relationships to take an extreme.
I couldn't agree with you more, Kev.
I have wanted a person from time to time that I couldn't have, or in some instances, I felt like I was out of their league. God those times can be tough.
that whole thing sucks...I know the situation as well, but so does every damn person on here...including jared...even if he won't admit it.
what's wrong with going after a maried person? It's a great challange! lol totally jk!
my gosh Jared, you're so clever!
Yes, I live with it everyday. This chick is a kristian and I a lesbian. We see eye to eye on mainly everything though and I find myself daydreaming about her then stopping myself.
ah you poor thing! it would make me go insane if I had to be surrounded by them every day in that current situation. :(
Frequency, I made out with a married man once ... LOL.
But anyway, back to the topic, um ... I have been in that situation, and yes, it sucks major, major, major dry ice cubes. (Just picture sucking on a dry ice cube. It would hurt.) Am I the only one who seems to think that if I wish long and hard enough, and wait around long enough, that this person I'm interested will suddenly break up with his girlfriend or stop being interested in someone else and suddenly realize that I'm the one he's wanted all along? Wishful thinking, I know, and it just leads to heart ache and frustration and all those things that we'd all rather not deal with. LOL. But it happens.
I am glad to say, however, that I don't have that problem right now. I am happily attached. *GRIN*
I wanted someone for 17 years and recently realized, when they got married to someone else, that it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways. So I said my good-byes and finally let go only to find that he really wasn't the one for me cause I found my other half less than a month ago and wouldn't give him up for the world. So you see, everything happens for a reason.
yes, really goes to show, that if we wait around, it's for the best, though before the miricle it's certainly hard to understand that. Congrats though on finding your right one Tnydancer! :)
There have been a small handful of people of whom that would have been true for me. I always thought that they were unattainable. And now... I am overjoyed to find that my previous assessment was wrong and one whom I have wanted for some time now, has come to want me in return. Time will bring good things, good and wonderful things to those who wait.
Echoing Heather here...
Oh, so many times have I wanted someone who I thought I could never have, for a variety of reasons. And once, somehow, I got them. And it was one of the most amazing periods of my short life so far.
Granted, I'm not with that person anymore, and it kind of tears me apart most days, but... que sera sera and all that...
Exactly, Amanda. You must never loose faith. You must never loose heart. Name the musical for twenty-five points.
Jane Eyre, I believe.:)
Ding Ding, give the girl a prise. And a boy friend. Ah, if only it were that easy. You hang in there, and congrads for being one of the few cultured in this world of baffoons, fops and utter nincompoops.
Twenty-five points have been duely awarded. Thank you.
Yes we have all have someone that we want but we know we can't have. That person may be to old for us or don't like us
i think i'm in that situation rite now, thats all, no further comments, smiley
Yeah. Her name was Dina (not real name.) She was not a lezbian and prefered to make fun of me behind my back but oh, she was so, so, wow... I'm getting mushy... Ok, that's it for now.
have you ever been the one on the other end of the stick? Had someone want you but not be able to recipricate thoughs feelings? While not as painfull, it is still an uncomfortable situation to be in, and equally as undesirable.
I could have anyone! Yeah rite, there's one guy i want but can't have, what r your reasons guys for not being able to have these people.
I've never had anyone love me and I not recipricate, but I have had someone want a relationship with me and I just didn't want one with them. Several in fact, although all but one of those were people who met me over the internet that wanted to meet, who I felt no desire to meet in person. I felt bad, but in all of the cases I can honestly say that I believe that they only wanted me, or a relationship with me, they weren't in love with me by any means, at the very most they were in love with the idea of me, with the idea of a relationship, any relationship, with anyone at that point. A little discouraging when I look back at what I just wrote, but for the fact that I have wanted someone for a very long time and now have a true chance of exploring that.
"Have any of you ever really wanted someone and you seen yourself being with that person but absolutely couldn't have them?"
Yes, i was thinking of a couple of people. one was an old friend, but he is already with someone now. It's all right. I only wish his happiness, so, i'm glad that things are going well for him. Me? I let go of the feeling a long time ago, so it does not bother me anymore.
The other guy was a little bit far away. His one of my closest friend and one that i trust a lot and enjoy spending time with. Actually i just talked with him last night. i was pretty sure a hundred percent that there was something there when we saw each other a few days ago.
the only person I can say that I really and truly wanted, but could never have, was my first crush. He was such a sweet heart to me, but he always had a girlfriend. We haven't talked for a few years now, so I let go of the feelings I had for him a long time ago. I'll always remember him, cause he was my first real crush, and cause if nothing else, we were friends.
Who hasn't been in this situation?
I have never actually had a relationship with someone I was insanely in love with. My one long-term relationship was with someone who is a dear friend, so I didn't even pass through that delirious, infatuationlike stage. There was never all that horrid anxiety about it.
I was in love with a gay man some years ago. I never told him, because I had no unrealistic ideas of changing him. We had a wonderful friendship, and have since drifted apart, which I regret.
But here's an odd twist:
Other than that, I've had several painful obsessions/crushes on *admits this next with some embarrassment* a few actresses, over the years. It's a certain type of voice that gets me. Shouldn't this pass with adolescence? LOL
regardless of how much you want to be with the person and how much you love them, you can't in any way force them to be with you.
yep, definitely been there, done that, and not very long ago either. I guess I'm still sort of recovering. The attraction was so strong that it put me way out of balance with myself. The person knew, and only made it worse by leading me on, saying one thing, but acting totally differently. I finally saw the futility of it and had to break off contact to preserve my sanity.
Still recovering?
The attraction was so strong it put you way out of ballence with yourself?
Having to break off contact to preserve your own sanity?
I can relate to all these.
The attraction is still very much there, but what's the point of feeding it? I know it's futal, so life goes on, and time does heal.
I don't know about time healing. Time can be just as crewl as it can be kind
Agreed, Andy. Time doesn't heal all wounds. Love does. Yes I have been in that situation soooooooooo many times, and now that's happening, but I have faith that I can still have him
oi, I've been in this situation when I wanted someone, but I couldn't have her... and, it is hard. but i think in time, it'll pass...
Then you're lucky Sam. I know there's no hope for me deep down, but I'm never going to heal, and it's torturous
Never say never. Eventually someone else will come along. Even though there will always be special places in your heart for the people of your past, new people will come along and help to fill the void.
so they say, but I'll believe it when I see it, and what if you don't want anyone else anyway. lol.
Anyhow, yeah, that's my lot
this has happened to me all the time. I want someone, but I know i would never get the chance with them. This is changing slowly though since I have a loving boyfriend, who means everything to me.
hahahah man. i was reading this bored... man when i was 18 i was crazy. i'm glad i got over myself. wow i used the exclaim a lot back then.